Chris and Geeks
Chris Nolan is the gossip columnist for the San Jose Mercury-News. I'm a regular reader of her column; it's informative, interesting and opinionated. Chris is a good read, I almost always learn something worthwhile in her column.In today's column she said something that's been bothering me all day, and I'm ready to say why. First, here's what she said:
"There are some who believe that geeks make the best boyfriends because they can be easily trained. And there are some who believe that geeks make the worst boyfriends because they have to be trained."It's become fashionable for women to say things like this about men, but how demeaning, limiting, arrogant and unhappy these women are. What happened to loving a man for who he is? It's a common mistake, you find someone attractive, and then try to change them to be something other than who they are.
A question for women: Would you tolerate a man making such a statement about women?
A question for men: If you don't like this, why do you stay silent?
I wrote a piece, last May, about Programmers which is a positive statement about technical people, regardless of their gender.
Women, if you fall into Chris's Category A, read that piece, and learn to love the man, instead of thinking of him as a pet that you can or should want to train. You might actually find happiness and growth that way. Chris's formula will not get you either.
Dave Winer
April 30, 1998
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