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		<title>A back-handed compliment</title>
		<dateCreated>Wed, 02 May 2012 15:38:32 GMT</dateCreated>
		<dateModified>Wed, 02 May 2012 16:12:48 GMT</dateModified>
		<ownerName>Dave Winer</ownerName>
		<ownerEmail>dave.winer@gmail.com</ownerEmail>
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		<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:38:32 GMT" ctSaves="6" flPreview="false" id="2012.05.02.1793" server="xmlrpc://cms.scripting2.com:5337/RPC2" storySerialNum="1793" text="A back-handed compliment" type="scripting2Post" url="http://scripting.com/stories/2012/05/02/aBackhandedCompliment.html" username="davewiner" versionClient="0.44" versionServer="0.44" whenLastSave="Wed, 02 May 2012 16:12:49 GMT">
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:26:37 GMT" pgfnum="13866" text="&quot;I think you're an okay person. Why do people say you're an asshole?&quot;"></outline>
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:26:21 GMT" pgfnum="13865" text="This used to happen a lot, not so much these days, but it still happens."></outline>
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:27:01 GMT" pgfnum="13867" text="What do you say when someone says that. There are so many things wrong with it. I don't even want to try to list them."></outline>
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:27:38 GMT" pgfnum="13869" text="I tend to want to respond with something approximating the truth."></outline>
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:27:53 GMT" pgfnum="13870" text="&lt;img src=&quot;http://scripting.com/images/2012/05/02/carlosBoozerSmall.gif&quot; width=&quot;145&quot; height=&quot;161&quot; border=&quot;0&quot; style=&quot;float: right; padding-left: 15px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 10px; padding-right: 15px;&quot; alt=&quot;A picture named carlosBoozerSmall.gif&quot;&gt;The &quot;people&quot; who say this, if there really are any, are doing it behind my back, not to my face. We both know that's not a highly principled thing to do, right? "></outline>
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:28:35 GMT" pgfnum="13871" text="I'd like to say I don't care, but I'm a human being, and we are approval-seeking animals. So when you say that, and it registers -- and believe me it registers -- my body chemistry reacts as if I've been threatened. I then have to have an internal conversation about it to compensate. &quot;There really is no threat,&quot; I say to myself. And that's energy I'd rather not spend. "></outline>
			<outline created="Wed, 02 May 2012 15:30:05 GMT" pgfnum="13872" text="But maybe there is a threat. Who knows. It's such a vague statement. You know what, if you say that to me, you aren't being a friend. Maybe that's the best, simplest, thing to say."></outline>
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