The Cute Little Nut

Thursday, May 4, 1995 by Dave Winer.

I got a call from my uncle in Jamaica who is 49. He's my young uncle, only 9.5 years older than me, much like an older brother. For six months every ten years we are in the same decade. "Welcome to your forties," he said. I laughed!

April 26 was zisk@well.com's thirtieth birthday. For six days we were both in our thirties. Gotta love it!

The Cute Little Nut 

I have a friend who I talk with from time to time, her name is Cindy (not her real name), and she calls herself a cute little nut. The nut thing is right! She sure is that. In getting to know her I also realized that she's a cute little hippie and a cute little nerd. There are many facets to Cindy.

Last nite the cute little nut spoke in one of my dreams in her squeaky high-pitched voice, like a little bird's voice in a Warner cartoon. She told me to go for a walk! It's funny because yesterday I spoke with another cute little nut named Hillary, who actually said those words.

Actors! Our lives are filled with actors who enter from the left and exit from the right. Some people show up in every scene, character actors, providing punctuation to the real action. There always seems to be a cute little nut on my stage, or waiting off stage. The invisible hand that's writing the story of my life needs a sweet small voice to explain the themes for my audience.

It's so exciting when a new actor appears on the stage, you wonder what role they'll play. In Hollywood no one wants to share the spotlight, in real life you wonder if a new actor is a co-star.

Some actors play dramatic supporting roles; are in one big scene, and are never heard from again.

And some very important actors wait offstage forever, the other actors talk about them, draw pictures of them, speak for them, but the script writer never actually writes any lines for them. The audience waits and wonders. The tension builds. What do they have to say?

We are actors and audience, but we don't write the screenplay. You can be creative with your lines, the director allows that! And like the interactive movies people are experimenting with, sometimes it seems, we can make choices.

You strike a balance, life becomes an artform, each choice you make is precious, every chance for creativity is an opportunity.

And we struggle with the meaning of it all, to varying degrees. I think the truly blessed people don't bother with the struggle and just have fun!

Life is filled with contradictions. So what? Yeah!

A new form of social behavior 

In light moments, my brother introduces me as a Pioneer of New Forms of Social Behavior. A shared joke, a positive spin on the fact that sometimes it can be awkward to be around me. But it's also an endorsement, because it can be fun to be around me. It's a curse and a blessing to be so entertaining. As Consolidated Edison used to say, dig we must!

Anyway, recently I've been pioneering a new form of social behavior: forgiveness. It began with my DaveNet piece, Let's Have Fun, where I publicly forgave Apple Computer. Then I ran into a friend at a party on Saturday night and I forgave him.

I postulated with other friends how interesting it would be if instead of greeting people with "Hi how are you?" we said "Hi I forgive you." It would get routine. It would be impossible to carry guilt or a grudge, all you'd have to do is shake hands and you're absolved and have given absolution. I'm OK and so are you.

How do you spell relief? "Hi, I forgive you," says Jeff. "Thank you. And I forgive you," says Judy. "Thank you," says Jeff.

Check it out. I think there's something here.

I forgive you!

Dave