One year ago today was my father's last day on earth. When people say other people were ready to die, I think there can only be a split decision. Who wouldn't want to go back to the sweet moments in life and live them again and again. And who doesn't have regrets, things they did they wish they hadn't. How differently things could have turned out. And the mystery of it all. Who knows what bad things were avoided by good decisions? A year later, there isn't a day I don't forget that my father is gone. But the feelings are further between. You get a feeling over the years, that try as you may want it to change, it never does. Then boom, someone is gone and massive change happens. In our family the change has all been for the better. I'm sort of sad to say that. A lot of deals had been made between family members that they won't do this if you don't do that. These are largely silent deals, not explicit. In many cases they were made before any of us were born, as each of us was molded to play a role that the others were comfortable with. |