If I were Michael Bloomberg, a very smart and wise man, I would take a deep breath and spend one day this weekend trying to learn what Occupy Wall Street is about, from the point of view of an average New Yorker. He's so smart he will get it. The problem is his perspective. He's one of the few people who they are angry with, and rightfully so. When the light goes on for him, he will be able to explain it to others in his class. Whether they listen or not is their problem. But it's up to him, as the elected leader of all New Yorkers, to listen and understand, and make wise choices. 

If I were Apple, I would quickly find a product in the pipe to release that's new and interesting and get us Apple devotees who already have one of everything to buy this new thing. We need a post-Steve experience to remind us of Apple's ability to get the money out of our pockets. 

Also, if I were Apple, I'd re-run some of the his most brilliant commercials. The funny ones. The stylish ones. The crazy ones. Let us remember how inspired we were by Apple's mission. We can be inspired again. And remember that they weren't hollow promises, they actually delivered. 

If I were one of my friends on Twitter who is at the exclusive elite invite-only Shorenstein conference celebrating Shorenstein, I would not tweet about it. If I were at Davos earlier this year I would not tweet about it. In fact if I were invited to an exclusive elite invite-only conference I would not tweet about it at all, to anyone. Twitter is unique in that it lets everyone in. The rabble. The non-elite. Could be the season, or the politics, or the fact that people are camping out in lower Manhattan for freedom. The contrast is not flattering. Imho. (And I know this will piss some people off, so be it.) 

Update: The conference at Shorenstein was not invite-only. It was and is open to the public. I feel very foolish. Apologies for the mistake.  

That's all I have in If I were's for right now.  

One more: If I were a rich man I'd buy Kyle Shank lunch at T-Rex.