People do freak out too much, imho -- but the companies also could have a more gentle bedside manner. A little story. When I was starting Living Videotext, my book keeper, a wise woman who seemed very old at the time (she was probably younger than I am now) gave me advice which I not only remember and follow, I also pass it on. "Hit people with a feather instead of a stick," she said. There's always a gentler way to say something. Try to emphasize the benefit, instead of the cost. It's pretty basic common sense, but it's surprising how often young people need to hear this. Maybe some old people too.
Anyway, I'm going to try Messenger, and will report back if there's anything notable about it.