It's even worse than it appears.
Wednesday October 28, 2020; 11:45 AM EDT
  • This video I saw on Twitter this morning really grabbed me. #
  • They are right, first comes respect, then comes getting it. Now I'm going to add my two cents.#
  • Respect isn't something you earn, respect is the default. Respect is listening to who the person really is, versus the story you've projected on them. Listen to the words they say. And accept that it is their point of view. It isn't right or wrong, it isn't something that can be argued over. This is what the person you're listening to wants to say. That's all. #
  • I understand this idea really well myself because I've always been projected on. I was raised by parents who judged me by their impression of who I was. So I was always all twisted up thinking about how they would interpret something I did, and how I would avoid being punished. #
  • The world does it too, sometimes very openly. I spoke at a conference in 2019 where I was heckled as being a person of privilege. The people probably had never even read anything I'd written, even that doesn't tell you enough to judge me. Why was it so hard for them to listen? I don't know. But they were very insistent that I was not to be listened to.#
  • So Jeffrey Marsh, in the video, speaks for me. amd very likely you. It isn't worse or better for anyone. Either people try to change who you are or they don't. The best friends are the ones who give you a chance to be different from their expectations of you. Jeffrey says something we all probably would like to say, and expresses it in a way that some people can actually hear. And that's a service to everyone who just wants to be heard. #

© 1994-2020 Dave Winer.

Last update: Wednesday October 28, 2020; 9:59 PM EDT.

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