I take the Fifth. 

I plead temporary insanity. 

Nolo contendere. 

I threw reason out the window. 

I felt smug for some reason. 

And I was feeling jealous of all the people who, on April 3, would have their iPad. And I won't. 

So, after reading that Andrew Baron ordered one with his winnings on AAPL stock, I figured I could do it too. So I sucked my gut and pressed Submit. 

Now I have one of these things, whatever the frack it is, on its way to me in just a couple of weeks. 

At least I'll be able to watch Fargo on it. 

PS: I am totally out of my mind.